Will went back to school this week. And it feels weird to be in the house by myself with no job to go to!
I’ve always been a worker. I have worked “outside the house” since I was 16 years old. I’m 42 now! That’s 26 years of working. Of course some of that was part time work but at times I had more than one part time job and basically worked full time. For a summer when I have 17, I worked 3 jobs!
I never wanted to be a stay at home wife or mother. I liked working. I liked the pride I got from working. I loved the social interaction of the people I worked with. I liked collaborating (for the most part) with others on projects. I like the goals and deadlines that working give me.
So this week I’ve started a new life. Today I don’t go to work. I don’t have an office outside the home. I don’t have work collegues to chat with or lunch with or go to happy hour with. This is a strange feeling.
Now I’m not saying that I’m going to lay around and watch TV and eat bonbons! I’m going to work for sure! But will this work be as fulfilling as the other work was? Will I get the same satification from a clean and tidy house that I got from a well researched exhibit or a successful event or an amazing day at the shop? Will I finally not just get the clothes washed and dried but folded and put away? Will we stop getting dressed out of laundry baskets or piles of clean clothes on the guest bed? Will I get big house projects started and finished in the same decade? Will I really get to spend more quality time with my husband, son and parents?
How will my mental health handle this transition? One of the reasons that I thought I needed to work outside the house was because I’m an extrovert. I needed to be around people. I needed to get that energy. But in the last 5 to 7 years, I’ve noticed that I’ve needed more alone time to do the deep thought work. I loved owning a local yarn shop but working retail (especially small retail), you have to be ON all the time! I loved my customers but most days I couldn’t complete a simple thought – let alone do deep thought work!
So let the deep work begin! Let the house projects begin! Let the finishing of the UFOs begin!